Hello sweet Soul on the Risers,
Yesterday I was sitting with a dear friend who I hadn’t seen in awhile and she did something incredibly sweet. She asked me how I was feeling about this podcast and after I responded she paused, looked at me with wide excited eyes, and said,
“Do you see how far you’ve come with it? I remember when you told me about the idea and now look at where you are!” My smile stretched across the room; my chest filled with warmth.
Sometimes we need a friend’s lens to see how far we’ve come. And that’s what this week’s episode and journaling exercise is all about - helping you see just how far you’ve come.
When You’re in ‘the Gap’, Focus on ‘The Gain’
We all can be quite hard ourselves. Always looking to the goal, the place, the new height we wish to reach and in those moments we only see the gap. We see how far we have to go. And yet, what if just for today, you basked the gain? In how far you’ve come. What if we spent a little time remembering the feelings you felt, the words you said, the place you were at six months ago, a year ago, two years ago – whatever the marker may be.
And then, as if you were looking at yourself through the lens of your kindest friend, you saw the gains you’ve made. The waters you navigated through. The action you didn’t think you could take. The joy you unexpectedly discovered in a fleeting moment. The glimmers of sunshine you made.
Journaling exercise:
Sometimes it’s easier to see our lives clearly when we zoom out. So to start, take a few long deep breathes. Focus on the exhale – an inhale of 4, exhale of 8. Cycle in that for a a minute or two. Then, when your mind feels soft, pretend you’re stepping outside of this body, this moment and like a bird, you’re flying up to to the sky looking down on your present-day life. And then when you look towards the horizon, you see a past iterations of you – you one month ago. You six months ago. You a year ago. What has happened in between that time?
Listen to this song to get you in a reflective, self-loving space.
Take a piece of paper and a pencil and write out #1-10.
Think of where your journey started and write a line summarizing where you were in that given moment. Write in the third (she/he/they) or first person (I)– whatever feels easier.
Then on the next line, write #2 and continue on to the next milestone marker and so on.
Example:
I started by reflecting on where I was 2 years ago just after knee surgery. Stop at the number that feels good for you; I’d recommend at least 10. The point is to let yourself see each step, see where you started and where you’re at now – how far you’ve come.
When she stepped into her apartment for the first time after surgery, she worried how could she possible heal alone. She had never done this – been in such pain without a parent or a partner to lean on. But she knew people did it. So, she figured if others found their way through, she could do too.
There were days she didn’t want to get up because getting up meant remembering she couldn’t walk like she used to do. She could write a whole book on those days but for the sake of this exercise she’ll carry on.
She never thought of herself as a musician or a singer but with a leg bound to a brace she needed something to do. So, she picked up the dusty guitar and started learning a little bit each day. She was horrible at first, no song sounded like it was supposed to. So she decided to stop playing other people’s songs and start finding a couple chords that sounded quite nice together and made those songs her own.
When she started singing, life felt lighter. She forgot about the pain. Her voice carried aches from her body through the room, out the window she looked out to. She sang softly at first – pressed her ear to the wall to make sure her neighbors were gone. But when she let herself let go, really let go, she knew singing could take her heart to places her mind never could.
(Now it’s your turn…)
If this exercise landed, you may enjoy the book The Gap and The Gain, which was recommended by a friend who sparked the idea for this podcast. If you think someone in your life has been a little hard on themselves, send them this e-mail and help them see how far they’ve come.
Ep. 19: Look How Far You've Come